“That’s Amore!” (Not)

The circumstances surrounding the recent disastrous sinking of a cruise ship inspired my husband, Raphael, to write new lyrics to the classic Dean Martin song, “That’s Amore.” If you saw the movie, Moonstruck, you heard Dean Martin sing that song. In case you haven’t heard it, check out this YouTube version.

Warning: In middle school, Raphael had his own reserved desk in detention. He has preserved some of that 14-year-old attitude. Thank goodness.

Sung to the music of “That’s Amore!”

When your boat hits a reef
‘Cause your captain’s in briefs,
That’s our cruise ship.

Parts we should overhaul
But the chief’s a meatball,
That’s a mild slip.

Safety bells tinga linga ling,
O’er the rail you they’ll fling,
Like bad mozarella.

Engine rooms all aflame
Cause they’re chasing some dame,
Sorry, fella.

Set adrift on the sea,
Pirates grinning with glee,
That’s our cruise ship.

Being towed for three days
Feeling baked like filets,
Smell like sheep dip.

On our luxury cruise, on the deck you must snooze, dear signores!
‘Scusa me, but in ole Italy, when we put out to sea, we’re asnore!


Raphael writes a lot of these… maybe more will turn up here someday.

29 thoughts on ““That’s Amore!” (Not)

  1. lynnkelleyauthor

    So you’re not the only writer in the family! Your hubby is a funny guy. Well done!

    I tagged you on my blog. 🙂

  2. charismaloy

    My students do this kinda thing all the time. Mostly to me and not their regular teachers because as long as they keep it school appropriate and then get right back on task, they know I love to hear it. Some people crack me up.

      1. charismaloy

        I don’t know that they lose it so much as they have been disciplined so severly for their creativity that they feel they have to hide it. I just try to instill the “right time, right place” conept

  3. Molly Pendlebury

    HAHA!! That’s pretty dang creative. If he had a reserved desk in detention then he must’ve been creative in his antics too. Kept that school staff on their toes ;o)

    1. SJ Driscoll

      Hi, Molly! He had this talent for giving nicknames that stuck–not always an endearing trait in an adolescent. Come to think of it, he still has that talent.

  4. Warren Lieberman

    When I was in high school I always wanted to know the difference between “smart ass” and “dumb ass” because I got called both.

    I will still go on cruises, planning one for November. But I’ll keep my eye on the captain.

  5. Sara Walpert Foster

    Next time, video tape him singing his verses. I sang his song as I read it and my dog left the room for greener pastures. Such a creative use of time. Loved his lyrics. What do you write?

  6. KM Huber

    I, too, spent a lot of time in detention at 14 so, of course, I’m loving this! And now I will have that melody with a lyric mix in my head for way too long. Ship Amore!


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